Love never ends or begins
by nqobzalele
Summary: Christian and Ana meet in their teen years while Christian was battling his demon and Ana battling the people who are demons in her life. They are torn apart and their lives are not what they expected.
1. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER1**

 **CPOV**

I wash the remnants of nightmare away under the scolding hot shower, to rid of the cold shivers that keep me captive of my fucked up life. At 1 am , I am the only person awake . My parents and siblings are those who seem to have rid their demons and I am the only lost behind. My trail the remains of who I was – a little boy, younger than the age of four, neglected by the mother who carried me for nine whole fucking years, abused and beaten to the pulp by her own pimp.

I was no prostitute, but I was part of the package deal.

I was no drug addict, but I had to suffer as if I were one.

I was a young little boy, but they never cared of what I was.

 _They never cared, just like now. just like now Grey…_

I step out of the shower and dress myself in grey sweatpants and black t-shirt, so that I am to go to my solace.

The morning air hits my nose, calming unknown inside of me, at the depth of my dark soul.

 _In…Out_. the night terrors have gone, plotting of what is to come tonight, in my sleep, where I could just wish I could escape the harsh reality..

A loud scream breaks the solace I have found. With no thought, I quickly sail to the sound as I feel like I am drawn to the owner of it. So I sail, with all power invested and given by my adrenaline, I hunt, and m. A female scream begins again, and I quickly hop out of the boat, pacing to the girl.

"Leave her alone!" I growl, yanking the man from the half-naked girl. The man sways side to side, the hard liquor stings in my nose, his mumbles breaking the silence.

"What are you doing son? Did I ask you to do that?" he slurs stumbling, attempting to beat me.

Avoiding the foolishness, I take the girl away from safety, her closely held again my chest. Her strawberry-vanilla invades my nostrils, bringing warmth to where I last buried my heart.

 _I am just a husk of a man._

I lay her down on the boat, suddenly feeling cold of her touch in and out throughout my being.

"Hi," she murmurs after suspension of time has come and gone our eyes lost in their gaze, drinking the other in if it is the last time we are to see each other. "Ana… my name. Yours?"

"Christian. Are you okay? I mean that was quite a scene" I attempt to joke to ease the tension.

"Better," she breathes and continues, "I am now since you saved me." I hunt for a blanket as I am like a man in a mission.

 _All that I am is a robot ,lost in the world of schedules and order and complete fuck ups. After all I am 15 years, not 85 for God's sake, even though I am dreading the life I am living .After all I am human, not any human, but son of a crack whore who neglected him…_


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

 **APOV**

We sit on the green summer grass, under a tree, digging in on our breakfast of pancake with syrup with bacon. I devour my share as I have not eaten in two days.

 _Two days of pain and suffering._

 _Two days of taking in the next blows as they come again and again. Each blow more painful than the other._

 _Two days of escaping rape from my stepfather who is supposed to father me to God knows when._

 _Two days of watching my mother neglecting me, letting her husband do his will on me. Watching me like I am her entertainment._

Husband #3 said, " _You are just like you mother bitch. now you will honor and respect and obey me just like your mother as you're part of the packet deal."_

I guess all that I am is an object, do it your free will because you _OWN_ it, as I am made it by my mother wedding Husband #3. I am my mother as she carried me in her womb, making her part of me.

I shake of the thought as I don't want to make myself a complete fool towards the stranger, shedding tears that are not meant to be shed. Crying out my problems as if he hold part of my miserable life.

Christian. His name. It is beautiful as he is and holds such meaningfulness. I always knew people are bad and bitter, but the small percentage of good people , long ago left my life. It is like the wind. It come and continues to where it is heading.

"Are you full?" Christian asks as I seemed to have zoned out while staring at fair share of food. An idea pops in my head as it looks like I'll be denied any food for as long I'll live under that house. It no longer houses a home, but idiotic bad people and a girl who is part of the mess." Hey are you okay?"

"Ye…yeah" I stutter, running my fingers through my long locks.

"My question. Are you going to answer?" He quizzes. I reply yes asking him to pack it for me.

"Why pack?" he asks, clearly confused.

"so that I can eat along the way. starvation kills."

"Care to walk. It is quite a beautiful day." he gestures, offering me his hand.

"Why, thank you. Well I don't know about the day since it is still morning," I joke and he laughs. His laughter is infectious that I giggle in such a long time where everything was right where it should have been. He stares at me, a second too long in wonder as if I planted the stars in the night sky. Though I might feel uncomfortable when a boy does so, but right now it feels right.

We talk about anything and everything that pops out of our heads, laughing at anything and everything and feels like I have known him in all my life. In a blink of an eye I see myself walking around the corner from home. This neighborhood houses the low class of Seattle as classed by the majority of wealthy people of Seattle.

Christian gapes at me as if I have lost my mind but regains his impassive face soon after a second.

"Bye," I say shyly, not knowing what to do, but I soon find the courage to wrap my hands around his waist, laying my head upon his chest. His heart beats frantically but beats normally soon after. He also wraps his arms around me, nuzzling his nose in my chestnut ,long locks. It's a goodbye hug and I don't like it one bit because I have to leave as soon our arms have returned to their master.

"I don't want to say goodbye," he voices my thoughts and continues, "I guess I'll see you around. When you're in danger just say my name baby."

"Roger that _my hero,"_ i beam at him the 'baby' lingering in my head but chose not to mention it to him. He pecks a kiss on my kiss and its like a shock coursed through my body, finally stopping in my heart a it began on my cheek. I walk away, with a final glance, I see his stricken face and it breaks me to see him so. I give him a small smile as I enter the gate to the house.

I wonder if he feels the same, the feelings brewing inside of me, and the 'baby' is till lingering in my head and it seems to be planting itself in my brain… 


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER3: MOMMA'S NEVER FAR BEHIND**

 **CPOV**

I enter my parents' home in Bellevue as the sun sinks at the west. Joy overwhelms me as I twirl all my way to my room.

I could see it all in her eyes - the fear, the look as if she could be different, live a different life. I could tell that she wanted all of it to end just like me.

She thinks she didn't see, but I saw it all. The hesitation of taking the next step closer to her home, the fear marring her beautiful face, a blue bruise mark now days old- her home is her nightmare, and all I want to do is save her before her pain could destroy her.

I now have the sudden urge to call her, to hear her beautiful voice. My boxers strain my erection as I felt her body flushed against mine in our goodbye hug. My erection stands in attention, mocking me and once more I see her beautiful ocean blue eyes. My hands go automatically to my manhood, stroking it slowly, reveling in the feeling.

Elena comes unbidden in my mind but I hold not much care or respect for her in this very moment. I can take the punishment but not the thought of losing my Ana.

' _My Ana',_ it feels odd albeit perfect rolling of my tongue. She feels so perfect for me, it's like she is my other half the moment we shared our first genuine smile nears the lake as the light sparkled with the rays of the glorious morning sun, the moment we first clicked in the first glance, it was light I finally found the light I have been searching for in most of my life span, and she brings the best in me.

 _I wanted to run to the most deserted place in the world, but I never did, because her presence is a much better thing to die with loneliness in hopes to saving yourself._

 _I wanted to desert her, but her soul drew me to her._

 _I am like a moth to a flame, in a mission to find the light I so much crave with all my being, because she is worth it._

I speed the pace, my hand stroking, and pumping and my hands feel her waist, stroking and cherishing her as she lies beneath me with all that could escape her plum red lips are her moans that are evidence of me pleasuring her. I pump faster and faster and I am driven off the edge.

"Uhm honey? Are you going to eat your eat your supper," my mother quizzes as she steps inside my bedroom with an inquisitive look in her face.

 **APOV**

I sink down my brown wooden door, attempting to cool the burning fire deep I my heart. Our goodbye was extraordinary, even plentiful albeit of the sadness it brought as the thought of not seeing each other once more sickens us.

I just wonder where he lives. Does he live in the upscale Seattle judging by his boat. Does he have a girlfriend because his body is made to perfect. The way his muscles bulge when he moves, the tone of his body, his copper hair falling carelessly down his forehead, and my most favorite is the sparkle of his grey eyes. His eyes take you to an adventure, away from your pains and miserable, to your Utopia, and my favorite Utopia is me and Christian locked in each -others embrace, conquering the world together.

I also saw his pain in our first glance. His grey eyes showed me of who he was before composing himself. It was that first glance that Jupitor and Mars have finally aligned, as I felt like I was his just like he was to me, same as when I walked away and I willed myself to not look back because I would be running away with him. Not to our sunset, But at dawn when the light conquers the darkness, when things become better and new.

"Ana, what happened with your father?" my mother asks as she forces the door open as I rise from the floor.

"He is not my father. A father wouldn't do that shit to her daughter!"

Carla slaps me across my face, making me stumble back. "Take that back! He is YOUR father and I made that choice to protect you. Why are you acting like a bitch huh? Remember you can't raise people from the dead. Your biological father is as good as being dead!" she menaces, pointing her long index between my eyes.

"Where were you" she whispers that I dread to answer. In this very moment I am as clean as a sheet of white paper waiting to be written. She locks her brown eyes to mine and I am close to quivering. She sniffs me- my hair, my neck, and my chest- and she looks back at me, clearly satisfied with her findings. "Who were you with. No…it came out wrong. Why were you with a boy SINCE THE MORNING AND WE HAVE BEEN WASTING VERY VALUABLE ENERGY FOR SOMEONE WHO IS SLUTTING AROUND!" She yells, her breath the only sound made in the room except my fast paced beating heart.


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER4: AND THAT IS…**

 **CPOV**

"Christian what are you doing?" she whispers horrified as she sees my hand on my bulge. I quickly tuck it away under the sheets her eyes never leaving mine.

"Mom, can I please have my privacy," I exasperate, words lost with me as I cannot utter another word.

"Sure son," is all she says before stumbling out of the room, her hand placed on her chest. I sigh loudly, dreading supper as I fear of the unknown that would be done or said because there is no lock on my mother's mouth. I put on my navy dark Levi jeans and what shirt and head down to dinner.

We eat dinner in silence, the clatter of the plates breaking the silence. The fear dies down but the part of me is waiting for that moment where my mischiefs are brought to light.

"Yo guys, I want you to meet someone," Elliot says, his voice low.

"Elliot please don't tell me she is pregnant, we spoke about this. You abstain or use protection or I will cut your dick out myself. Do-," my dad yells.

"Carrick! Language please. The children are here. Jesus Christ!" Grace says exasperated.

"Well mom…. we are not children anymore" Elliot pipes in, Mia nodding in agreement. I stifle a laugh by continuing eating.

"Don't you agree big brother," Mia asks in her sweet voice, her brown eyes staring intently at me, locking her long strawberry blond hair.

"Yes," I whisper, my voice strained. Grace huffs in annoyance, her eyes to me and Mia.

"Did you or did you not Elliot?" Carrick commands, banging his fist on the brown wooden dining table.

"Dad I didn't" he squeks embarrassed. A loud roar floods the room that surprisingly belongs to me. Tears stream down my face, my arms around my stomach as it begins to ache. "Pregnant," I whisper making me laugh more as I stride out of the dining room to my room.

I throw myself onto the bed, my body landing with a thud. I look at my room- I look at the signed Rolling Stones poster on the notice board, at the pearl white wardrobe and grey lampstand. Everything in this room is so sterile that it now saddens me

Being with Ana seemed to have changed my world view. My own kind of ordinary seems to be fading away from my interests that now lie with only Ana and the light she brings to my life. I did attempt to have it. Making everything in and that surrounds my life copy the light every one holds in their lifetime, made me more miserable because that light was like the darkness, making me more of a misfit.

I grab my wallet from the bedside table, putting on my grey baseball cap. The door opens and Grace enters with an ashen look on her face.

"You are going," she says obviously.

"Yes."

 **APOV**

"I wasn't with a boy," I scream as she smacks me again with the back of her hand.

"Don't give me that shit Anastasia. I know a scent when I smell one."

"Please let me go," I plea tears now coursing down my pale face.

"Did you know that you are begging like a whore needing to find her release," Carla tosses me down.

"I am not a whore. I haven't slept with anyone."

"You know a mouth can do _extra ordinary_ things," she spits at me with her saliva before existing my room.

I curl into a ball in the fall, my tears falling down in their free will. I rock to and fro, trying to console myself.

Minutes turn to hours that I have been awaiting _his_ return. The room is flooded by darkness as the night sweeps by. Voices and the banging of pots boom at the kitchen for minutes until all that is… is silence, highten the fear in me.

"Baby I, home! Did you miss me, " he says in his sick low voice until all that I see is darkness.


	5. i hope you're joking

**CHAPTER5**

 **APOV**

I pull my knees to my face, rocking myself to and fro. Tears have ceased -a dried river valley that starts from my eyes to my neck- the evidence of my weeping. I willed myself that I shouldn't cry anymore because I would be wasting my tears for someone not deserving of them. Because I will be taking a valuable part of me that I never want to lose. I don't want to change who I am.

My back itch from the ten lashes. It doesn't ache anymore but that doesn't mean I don't feel it because I know it's there- a painful memory that _he_ still exists, that I am bound to see him again tomorrow and the day to come. I have always dreamt of running away- running away from my shitty life to a new better life but the sad thing about this is that not everything happens the way you want it to be. They say that _it doesn't hurt to dream_ but to do exactly that, it knocks out my breath.

I touch the tattoos that are sprawled across my chest. I recall the beating, an excruciating experience that happens so often. TEN lashes and I could still feel the first lash that hurts like the last across my back. His face- steaming with outmost anger- breaks me down apart but tears don't come only my dry heaves.

I bury myself with the immense darkness of the attic on the corner that is crowded by numerous boxes. The darkness calms me but I'm left numb, as if lifeless. I lay my head on the dusty floor and wish to just forget. But one face pops up. A boy of copper hair and grey stormy eyes.

 **CPOV**

"Christian." My mother calls as I make my way to my room. My heart hammers, close to beating its way out of my chest. I know of what she is to say and this Grey - me of course- is not in mood of indulging in that conversation. "Can I ask," she pauses for a moment then says, "Do you have a Girlfriend."

After she had said that my heart slowly sinks to the bottom of the Atlantic. Why on Earth would she ask that instead of how was day instead of that crap?

"Mother," I sigh and my frustrations are not that far and continue calmly, "we have been through this, I don't have a _girlfriend._ The world will have to change its course of direction around the sun. Do you see that happening mother?" I ask innocently.

"No darli-" I halt her and say, "Thank you mother. You also see the answer don't you?" she looks up to me and I grab the chance to walk into my room and close the door enthusiastically in front of her face.

I laid my head back against the wall and slowly sink the wooden floor. I wish I could have said yes but is Anastasia really that person to me. A side of me exclaims in agreement but reality slaps me hard across the face and I slowly realize that she never is and never could be.

When my eyes met hers, I could see our future, the possibility I could be happy, or even normal. Now her eyes remain at the back of my mind, nagging, torturing me so that I have to find their owner- a very beautiful one.

I just have to wonder what she is doing now. Probably bathing as I see dusk fade away. Maybe she is touching herself, spreading those beautiful long hands across her silky skin, foaming it then rinse. I imagine her finger cupping her breasts and touching herself down there.

"Naughty girl. Didn't they ever taught you at home that is wrong to that," I could ask her as water rains down her body. "Come and let me do this the right way."

"How," Ana could say innocently, peeking up at me. " I was honestly doing a right job."

"Why weren't you screaming? Baby Girl I can make you scream more than anyone else. Even you." I whisper against her ear.

Before she could answer, there is a loud knock on the door bringing me back to reality. I shift away from the door. The door opens and an amused idiot that is my brother enters my room. I stare at him dumbfound.

"Hey bro. Where you at? Are you star struck?" he laughs. "Like LOL! are you stoned?"

"Stoned," I ask as the remnants of my fantasy dry away.

"Oh my God! You're literally on drugs. I'm gonna tell mom and dad." Elliot runs off and I let him be. I'm just to drained, too confused to run after him like I ever do.

I lie down the floor, the coldness of the wooden floor sending shivers through my body. It was like I could cry. I wanted to feel her body pressed against mine, my fingers exploring whole of her body. Even though it wasn't real but the fantasy gave me something to work with-well barely. I close my eyes, funnily counting sheep in my mind. _Maybe I wanted to save myself from insanity._

That girl really is to drive me beyond the edge of insanity.

My parents barge inside my room, Mia and Elliot tagging behind. My father looks disappointed, angered, as if he were to throw my ass out on the streets. My mother is helpless but hopeful also.

"Christian I hope that Elliot was really joking." my mother looks down at me. Before I could answer my father says,

"Oh please Grace. He did alcohol. It is a possibility that he does drugs too."

"When you look at him. Do you see a drug user for heaven sakes Carrick."

"Stop vouching for me. Make him do the fucking test. I don't fucking care anymore."

Grace nod her head slowly and by the look of her eyes you could see her heart sinking. She gave me a cup. I nodded at her to reassure her as I stood up and went to the bathroom. I peed on the cup, a shadow that belongs to my father judging by a lean body with short hair overlooking me.

I return back into to my room that is crowded by too many people. I put down the cup and stare at my mother as she does the test. She finishes the test, her eyes bulging out of her eyes. She glances at me then holds the gaze of Carrick. What the hell did the test say?...

 **a/n**

 **sorry guys for late update. there are plenty coming3 :D**


End file.
